| but, who is john galt? |
[11 Jun 2006|04:07pm] |
|
"gerald starnes, who was the chairman, kept hammering his gavel for order, and we quieted down some, but not much, and you could see the whole place moving restlessly from side to side, like water in a pan that's being rocked. 'this is a crucial moment in the history of mankind!' gerald starnes yelled through the noise. 'remember that none of us may now leave this place, for each of us belongs to all the others by the moral law which we all accept!' 'i don't,' said one man and stood up. he was one of the young engineers. nobody knew much about him. he'd always kept mostly by himself. when he stood up, we suddenly turned dead-still. it was the way he held his head. he was tall and slim--i remember thinking that any two of us could have broken his neck without trouble--but what we all felt was fear. he stood like a man who knew he was right. 'i will put an end to this, once and for all,' he said. his voice was clear and without any feeling. that was all he said and started to walk out. he walked down the length of the place, in the white light, not hurrying and not noticing any of us. nobody moved to stop him. gerald starnes cried suddenly after him, 'how?' he turned and answered, 'i will stop the motor of the world.' then he walked out. we never saw him again. we never heard what became of him. but years later, when we saw the lights going out, one after another, in the great factories that had stood solid like mountains for generations, when we saw the gates closing and the conveyor belts turning still, when we saw the roads growing empty and the stream of cars draining off, when it began to look as if some silent power were stopping the generators of the world and the world was crumbling quietly, like a body when its spirit is gone--then we began to wonder and to ask qestions about him, we began to ask it of one another, those of us who had heard him say it. we began to think that he had kept his word, that he, who had seen and known the truth we refused to know, was the retribution we had called upon our heads, the avenger, the man of that justice which we had defied. we began to think that he had damned us and there was no escape from his verdict and we would never be able to get away from him--and this was the more terrile because he was not pursuing us, it was we who were suddenly looking for him and he had merely gone without a trace. we found no answer about him anywhere, we wondered by what sort of impossible power he could have done what he had promised to do. there was no answer to that. we began to think of him whenever we saw another collapse in the world, which nobody could explain, whenever we took another blow, whenever we lost another hope, whenever we felt caught in this dead, grey fog that's descending all over the earth. perhaps people heard us crying that question and they did not know what we meant, but they knew too well the feeling that made us cry it. they, too, felt that something had gone from the world. perhaps this was why they began to say it, whenever they felt that there was no hope. i'd like to think that i am wrong, that those words mean nothing, that there's no conscious intenton and no avenger behind the ending of the human race. but when i hear them repeating that question, i feel afraid. i think of the man who said that he would stop the motor of the world. you see, his name was john galt."
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| what good's a heart of gold when you've got a mind? |
[14 May 2006|08:34pm] |
"i do not know why, but i am growing to be afraid of the dark. no, not now, only when i am alone. what frightens me is night. night as such."
the speaker was an elderly spinster with an air of breeding and hopelessness.
"but, my dear," a woman asked, "why should it frighten you?"
"i don't know," said the spinster. "i am not afraid of prowlers or robberies or anything of the sort. but i stay awake all night. i fall asleep only when i see the sky turning pale. it is very odd. every evening, when it grows dark i get the feeling that this time it is final, that daylight will not return."
"my cousin who lives on the coast of maine wrote me the same thing," said another woman.
"last night," said the spinster, "i stayed awake because of the shooting. there were guns going off all night, way out at sea. there were no flashes. there was nothing. just those detonations, at long intervals, somewhere in the fog over the atlantic."
"i read something about it in the paper this morning. coast guard target practice."
"why, no," the spinster said indifferently. "everybody down on the shore knows what it was. it was ragnar dannekjold. it was the coast guard trying to catch him."
"ragnar danneskjold in delaware bay?" a woman gasped.
"oh, yes. they say it is not the first time."
"did they catch him?"
"no."
"nobody can catch him," said one of the men.
"the people's state of norway has offered a million-dollar reward for his head."
"that's an awful lot of money to pay for a pirate's head."
"but how are we going to have any order or security or planning in the world, with a pirate running loose all over the seven seas?"
"do you know what it was that he seized last night?" said the spinster. "the big ship with the relief supplies we were sending to the people's state of france."
"how does he dispose of the goods he seizes?"
"ah, that--nobody knows."
"i met a sailor once, from a ship he'd attacked, who'd seen him in person. he said that ragnar danneskjold has the most frightening face on earth, a face with no sign of any feeling. if there was ever a man born without a heart, he's it--the sailor said."
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| the theme. |
[10 May 2006|09:56pm] |
when owen kellogg entered her office, she looked at him with satisfaction. she was glad to see she had been right in her vague recollection of his appearance--the face of the kind of man with whom she could make a deal.
"sit down, mr. kellogg," she said, but he remained standing in front of her desk.
"you had asked me once to let you know if i ever decided to change my employment, miss taggart," he said. "so i came to tell you that i am quitting."
she had expected anything but that; it took her a moment before she asked quietly, "why?"
"for a personal reason."
"were you dissatisfied here?"
"no."
"have you received a better offer?"
"no."
"what railroad are you going to?"
"i'm not going to any railroad, miss taggart."
"then what job are you taking?"
"i have not decided that yet."
she studied him, feeling slightly uneasy. there was no hostility in his face; he looked straight at her. he answered simply, directly; he spoke like one who has nothing to hide, or to show; the face was polite and empty.
"then why should you wish to quit?"
"it's a personal matter."
"are you ill? is it a question of your health?"
"no."
"are you leaving the city?"
"no."
"have you inherited money that permits you to retire?"
"no."
"do you intend to continue working for a living?"
"yes."
"but you do not wish to work at taggart transcontinental?"
"no."
"in that case, something must have happened here to cause your decision. what?"
"nothing, miss taggart."
"i wish you'd tell me. i have a reason for wanting to know."
"would you take my word for it, miss taggart?"
"yes."
"no person, matter or event connected with my job here had any bearing upon my decision."
"you have no specific complaint against taggart transcontinental?"
"none."
"then i think you might reconsider when you hear what i have to offer you."
"i'm sorry, miss taggart. i can't."
"may i tell you what i have in mind?"
"yes, if you wish."
"would you take my word for it that i decided to offer you the post i'm going to offer, before you asked to see me? i want you to know that."
"i will always take your word, miss taggart."
"it's the post of the superintendent of the ohio division. it's yours if you want it."
his face showed no reaction, as if the words had no more significance for him than for a savage who had never heard of railroads.
"i don't want it, miss taggart."
after a moment, she said, her voice tight, "write your own ticket, kellogg. name your price. i want you to stay. i can match anything any other railroad offers you."
"i am not going to work for any other railroad."
"i thought you loved your work."
this was the first sign of emotion in him, just a slight widening of his eyes and an oddly quiet emphasis in his voice when he answered, "i do."
"then tell me what it is that i should say in order to hold you!"
it had been involuntary and so obviously frank that he looked as if it had reached him.
"perhaps i am being unfair by coming here to tell you that i am quitting, miss taggart. i know that you asked me to tell you because you wanted to have a chance to make me a counter-offer. so if i came, it looks as if i'm open to a deal. but i'm not. i came only because i...i wanted to keep my word to you.
that one break in his voice was like a sudden flash that told her how much her interest and her request had meant to him; and that his decision had not been an easy one to make.
"kellogg, is there nothing i can offer you?"
"nothing, miss taggart. nothing on earth."
he turned to go. for the first time in her life she felt helpless and beaten.
"why?" she asked, not addressing him.
he stopped. he shrugged and smiled--he was alive for a moment and it was the strangest smile she had ever seen: it held a secret amusement, and heartbreak, and an infinite bitterness. he answered:
"who is john galt?"
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| the closer i get to you the harder it hits. |
[22 Apr 2006|05:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the beatles. |
] |
LAST:
01. last cigarette: about a year or more ago
02. last kiss: howard roark, architect.
03. last cry: a few weeks ago, if i remember correctly. haha, how could i forget. i rarely ever cry. it was somewhat lame.
04. last library book checked out: atlas shrugged. it was due january 4, but i've still got it and i downright refuse to give it back.
05. last movie seen in a theatre: V FOR VENDETTA. self-explanatory.
06. last book read: the giver.
07. last cuss word uttered: probably nigger or something along those lines.
08. last beverage drank: water.
09. last food consumed: i had a few slices of tomato last night.
11. last tv show/movie watched: the OC mos def.
13. last shoes worn: my new vans-imitation slip-ons.
14. last cd played: the beatles.
15. last pop drank: organic blood orange soda.
16. last thing written: besides schoolwork, lyrics that i wrote for colten (lost kings and dark knights).
17. last words spoken: jai guru deva.
18. last sleep: last night, obviously.
21. last ice cream eaten: it's been ages.
22. last time wanting to die: the last time my mom nagged me about graduation.
24. last time dancing: the reunion at stephanie and diane's pool.
26. last big car ride: st. louis with the mcveys.
27. last crush: omg there are far too many to list. but those are just crushes, you know? only a few who've really mattered.
28. last annoyance: i wish saturday school had lasted longer.
39. last disappointment: not being able to sit by richard medina at saturday school =]
30. last time scolded: for being "disrespectful".
32. last web site visited: this is just so completely obvious.
APPEARANCE:
01. piercings: five.
02. tattoos: none yet
03. height: 5’3”
04. shoe size: it averages to about a 7 1/2
05. hair color: blonde
LAST (PART DEUX):
01. movie you rented: a documentary about the da vinci code.
02. movie you bought: fight club. but that was like a year ago.
03. song you listened to: paperback writer--the beatles.
04. song that was stuck in your head: since you been gone--kelly clarkson.
05. cd you bought: the strokes, rasputina, and the pixies at the same time on itunes.
06. person you've called: joe dement/danielle cordani.
07. person that's called you: eric bittle.
08. person you were thinking of: daniel lozano?
09. friend you made: KATIE MCNEFFFFF. omg i love her!
DO:
01. you have a crush on someone: most likely.
02. you wish you could live somewhere else: new england.
03. you think about suicide: i think about suicide whenever i hear my mother's voice.
04. you believe in online dating: who the hell cares.
05. others find you attractive: haha i think?
06. you want more piercings: lyla cordani reckons i should get my nose pierced again.
07. you drink: on occasion.
08. you do drugs: hahaha aderol.
09. you smoke: used to but then i got cancer.
10. you like cleaning: i'm only truly capable of happiness when my room and bathroom are both immaculate.
11. you like roller coasters: yessss.
12. you write in cursive or print: print. and i don't mean to brag, but i honestly average about three compliments a day on my handwriting. it's just that good.
FOR OR AGAINST:
01. long distance relationships: i couldn't care less. it's pretty depressing though.
02. suicide: well i'm not about to complain about hitler's suicide, now am i? come on.
03. killing people: gotta do what you gotta do.
04. teenage smoking: the exact same thing as adult smoking.
05. doing drugs: drugs are stupid but that doesn't mean they should be illegal. the government has no right to tell us what not to put into our bodies.
06. driving drunk: fuck you.
07. soap operas: i used to watch guiding light. it was decent.
FAVORITE:
01. thing to do: write. sing. read. argue. do surveys.
02. thing to talk about: philosophy. business. science. religion. history. sex.
03. sports: soccer.
04. drinks: organic italian soda.
05. clothes: hollister. if i had a million dollars i'd shop at anthropologie.
06. movies: fight club. rules of attraction. v for vendetta.
07. singer: anthony kiedis & john frusciante (RHCP). melora creager (rasputina). z berg (the like). joe dement (burn what binds). ari katz (lifetime). jules casablancas (the strokes). and kelly clarkson, naturally.
08. holiday: june 12.
HAVE YOU:
01. ever cried over a girl?: yes.
02. ever cried over a boy: yes.
03. ever lied to someone: incessantly.
04. ever been in a fist fight: not yet, no.
05. ever been arrested: no but i wouldn't put it past myself.
WHAT:
01. shampoo do you use: redken is magic potion for the hair. unfortunately i've got to resort to the next best thing which is herbal essences.
02. shoes do you wear: ordinarily i'd say my ancient brown leather flip flops that i've been wearing for years, but i've just bought three new pairs: these espresso-brown mary janes with a skinny heel, navy blue vans-imitation slip-ons, and white woven flats.
03. are you scared of: i used to say childbirth, but my maternal instincts are developing and i think that if i find the right person, i would love nothing more than to have his babies.
HOW MANY
01. times have you been in love: i don't know anymore. once for sure.
02. times have you had your heart broken: three times, two of which were the same person.
03. hearts have you broken: probably just one.
04. girls have you kissed: a few.
05. boys have you kissed: a lot i guess but only a few who've mattered to me.
06. siblings do you have: four sisters--cameron-26? mallori-23? andrea-14 kalyn-13.
07. drugs have you taken illegally: if you count cigarettes and alcohol as drugs, then four.
08. people would you classify as true, could trust with your life type friends: i would like to say many, but in real life people are unreliable. so i'd have to say only one person. and that's fine with me. he's my best friend.
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| fo twenny. |
[20 Apr 2006|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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| [ |
music |
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end it on this-no doubt. |
] |
OMG 2DAY WUZ TEH WORST DAY EVERRR!!11 WTF
set your goals was cancelled.
eric, tony, chris, and i made the best of a bad situation and bought a kite.
but it broke.
so then we did other stuff the end.
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| oh, what life is this? |
[05 Jul 2005|02:59am] |
| [ |
music |
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only the gentle humming of my debilitated computer. |
] |
it's lovely to be updating again; i've been home for slightly over a week but i haven't had the privilege of getting online. ill fortune and woe are mine! i'll tell you why: one clear afternoon, the power lit out for no reason god could offer. went right out, i tell you, for no more than forty seconds! and these forty or so seconds were enough to cause my entire hard drive to crash, completely erased. now, i'm not exactly one to be dabbling with computers, experimenting and exploring, so naturally i call my computer geek of a father in to have a look-see and it was he who diagnosed my computer's permanent memory as irretrievable. i know as well as anyone that a computer is no more than a material possession, an intricate system of cogs and silicon and copper wires, but this particular possession is what i entrusted with my life. all of my writing--gone. but alas!--there is hope yet. as aforementioned, my father is known for his clever display of aptitude when it comes to the mending of cogs and silicon and copper wires and the sort, so i'm expecting a full recovery out of my computer any day now. the difficult part is prying my dad away from the simpsons long enough to stroke a few keys. i regret to admit that my impatient nature has come off as rather strong lately, but to my defense, this is my passion that's been effaced! on the other hand, however, i shouldn't have been so dim as to have neglected to use some form of back-up system where my writings are concerned. a journal or something similar. i used to keep a journal where i could record my whims and fancies whenever i took a notion to, but that was months ago, and the writings i've done more recently are finally beginning to show the kind of skill and passion that has been my intent for so long.
i do hope i'm not putting too much faith into the retrievability of my lost files. oh, what a horrid thing faith can be! "damned if you do, damned if you don't," some say. if one fosters too much faith, how can his hopes be fulfilled? yet for those who're far too wise for a thing such as faith, what have they to look forward to in life? forgive me for my naive perplexity. the hour is small and sleep would do wonders for my mind. good-night, all.
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| about a girl and her haunting, mint tea-smelling house. |
[21 Feb 2005|08:19am] |
haha yeah...it's like 8:20 in the morning and i had nothing to do but write. if it ends up sucking, too bad so sad.
i swear i’m haunted by a house that emanates the smoky smell of incense and too many mint tea candles. the face of a girl is pressed against the window, beside a wall i cannot reach. and she sits watching the trickling rain develop into puddles like a dream rising and falling over an asphalt ocean. she wants to be heard over the incessant sound of her mother’s rocking and her boyfriend's creeping into her sister's room. she needs an intrigue; she’s already checked half the floorboards, made sure there are no hollow sounds when the knots are gently rapped with an interested knuckle. anxious are her days, restless are her nights. how often she covets the neighbor’s green-blue sweater is recorded on the wall nearest the broken telescope and a collage of old snapshots (all of which are hanging crooked on bent and rusted nails).
a long-forgotten tree house bedecks a winding, twisted black locust tree. a constellation of thorns has fallen from their branches, leaving the owners forever wary of concealed nettles. if the season is right, the girl contents herself by choosing and eating unwashed blackberries. she lets the blood of the fruit drip onto her garments, forming patterns not unlike what the rain makes on a white sidewalk.
on some nights the house is so dark, she forgets to tiptoe when she descends down a staircase or turns into a hallway, and the absence of all shadow drives a chill along the backs of her legs.
she doesn’t write. she doesn’t sing. she has no hobbies one would call extraordinary. she’s capable of these things, i’m sure, but what she really takes pleasure in doing is sitting by the far window, watching droplets of rain collect in the cavities of the discolored asphalt road. she likes to take her house and haunt the very back corner of my memory.
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| j'adore mon araignée de miel. |
[17 Feb 2005|10:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
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| [ |
music |
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finally got my smashing pumpkins cd back |
] |
Ask me anything ill tell the truth no lie!
You can ask me ANY SEVEN questions, no matter how personal, inappropriate or random. I promise to answer the questions 100% truthfully. people dont be idiots with these questions cuz thats retarded. Repost this and see what people want to ask you*
*stolen from mike v.'s journal.
MikeThoraxSucks: but we got new toilets
MikeThoraxSucks: so its all good
Reverend Moss IV: haha beautiful
Reverend Moss IV: cause toilets are a must and all.
MikeThoraxSucks: yeah
MikeThoraxSucks: they "save water"
MikeThoraxSucks: we won them
MikeThoraxSucks: and got them installed the other day
MikeThoraxSucks: my rooms kinda clean
MikeThoraxSucks: you should spend the night
MikeThoraxSucks: hahaha
Reverend Moss IV: sg;lknrfgibhienrbgiun
Reverend Moss IV: sorry i was cleaning the vomit out of my keyboard
MikeThoraxSucks: i know
MikeThoraxSucks: its horrible that they save water
MikeThoraxSucks: it makes me wanna throw up too
MikeThoraxSucks: but how about spending the night!?
MikeThoraxSucks: WOO HOO!
Reverend Moss IV: ....
MikeThoraxSucks: haha what?!
MikeThoraxSucks: theres nothing wrong witht hat
MikeThoraxSucks: were totally BFF
MikeThoraxSucks: so its all good
MikeThoraxSucks: besides
MikeThoraxSucks: its not like were gonna have sex
MikeThoraxSucks: ....
Reverend Moss IV: yeah i know i'm pretty satisfied with the diaz in that department as of now
BUUUUUST. i win.
p.s. i didn't get enough feedback for whether or not to continue the nose piercing mishap with mrs. deborah lyon valdez...i guess that means no.
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[07 Feb 2005|08:09am] |
| [ |
music |
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billy joel- she's always a woman. |
] |
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me.
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding,
But she brings out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself cause she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel,
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool,
But she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree,
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me.
my mom says this song was written about me?
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| such a lovely day. |
[05 Feb 2005|01:26pm] |
| [ |
music |
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audioslave- like a stone |
] |
simply put, the graces show was amazing. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. i especially liked the part when callie belched right into the mic. i envy her and her cataclysmic burping technique.
after the graces, eric dizzle and i stayed for accept the blame then went back to my house and watched mr. rogers. too bad eric is obsessed with that show and knows all the songs? <3
me and stephanie macivey are about to go do some SSS shopping and go to the king william district to admire our most favoritest house. but first i must brush my teef.
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| "fuck me gently with a chainsaw" -heathers |
[26 Jan 2005|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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i need some juice. |
] |
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music |
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silence. |
] |
we found an abandoned dachshund! i wonder if we'll keep her? she's just a puppyyy and she's so cute. i would probably name her 'ween' which is short for weener dog. i can hear ween howling outside right now. she's little. brown, too. little and brown and cute. =]
omgod...i can't wait till the OC tomorrow. you guys have no idea...marissa is a lesbian. i knew it. yeah yeah i know everyone says the OC is lame and full of drama...well yes and yes. but that makes it awesome and FUCKING PRETEND, YOU GOD DAMNED ASSHOLES. jeeez i hate when people are like "dude, in real life, twelve hot people don't all live in the same house" or "dude, in real life, not everyone looks like supermodels..." well no shit. do you think a show about ugly people with boring lives would be interesting? no. that's what we call 'the surreal life'. just give it a try for jebus' sake..if you're into beautiful lesbians, hot sex affairs, and gorgeous jewish guys like me, i can guarantee you'll dig this show. and if you don't, fine, but don't get on my ass for it. the OC rules. just ask mike v. he knows what's up.
eric came over for like an hour today after school before my dad got home cause i'm forsure grounded. but it was fun. i love our little intrigues...
steph's new hair owns.
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| the art of being grounded. |
[24 Jan 2005|07:51pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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grateful dead- st. stephen |
] |
today i was faced with a rather difficult decision: go to school and fail my test with flying colors (does that work?) or stay home and do a project that's due tomorrow, study, clean/get everything organized...but be grounded. so naturally i chose to be grounded. it's easier to take care of an absence than it is to get rid of a failing test. so today i was very VERY productive and i'm proud of myself. normally when i'm absent i'll sleep the entire day, but this time i woke up at the regular schoolday time and got right to work on my french project. then i cleaned my room and bathroom (dusting and everything..basically the whole shebang), organized my binders, did like three months worth of laundry, aaand..a bunch of other stuff. at around 4:30 i called danielle, and she told me she already got the math test back...SCORE. i love cheating.
so about the weekend. on friday i hung out with my main squeeze and we watched american history X which was positively gushing with awesomeness. saturday stephanie and diane picked me up and we went to magnolia pancake house...then we dropped off the stephanator and went to huebner oaks for god knows what...but we felt like going to the mall instead. and then we made the biggest mistake of our lives: we took the wrong turn. but of course diane knows her way around town so she thought she could right it by taking some other highway..then the next thing we know we're in boerne? so we turn around but then missed the exit. now, two hours later, we're on st. mary's so WE KNOW WHERE WE ARE!! we navigated our way to west ave. but all the sudden we see fucking gangs and graffiti and we're really scared. to make a long story short, we got lost for around three hours and it wasn't fun. but what was fun was getting free subway. after we ate our sandwiches, we went to joe's house and then to best buy...then back to my house and fedic came over because i simply adore him. sunday i went to danielle's house and we studied for the first time in months. it felt kinda good to be completely honest.
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| the excitement of friday is upon us! |
[20 Jan 2005|08:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the killers-mr. brightside |
] |
ah yes, the eagerly anticipated weekend is approaching...and spirits certainly are high! can you believe it, i haven't done a single homework assignment all week. it feels good. especially considering none of my teachers have felt the need to collect them. yay god. today was pretty boring; in english we had to write a paper on fucking ernest hemingway, and i decided i was above it. what was funny is that the whole class worked on it for like an hour..and my teacher didn't even take it up. i rule. then in history we watched the gay presidential inauguration...and i nearly cried. our country is going to the dogs, i'm sure of it.
next i had psychology with my bff ariel. how i adore that beautiful munchkin. i was thinking about skipping next period (algebra) because i'd been informed that we were scheduled for a test. since i'd been conspicuously absent a few times in a row, i thought that'd be the most sensible thing to do. hah NOT. so i went, ready to make up any far-fetched excuse to get out of taking the test..but as it turns out, mr. keresticles changed his mind and moved it to monday. i was then convinced my guardian angel had finally taken a liking to me. then i laughed at my stupidity because of course there's no such thing as a guardian angel.
after school i slept until diane came over..then danielle called and got didi to pick her up...so after around an hour of them being gone, i called diane to see where she was, and it turns out that they ditched me to play nintendo. who can blame 'em though? oh, those sillies. i love them dearly.
p.s. my nose piercing is now infected thanks to eric diaz knocking the ring out with his nose. don't even ask. <3. speaking of the diaz, i've found that i haven't been able to cease giggling like a little schoolgirl at the mere mention of his name. oh BOY am i ever a freak. this is not me. haha. all my teachers are like, "what happened to the sarcasm? the cynicism?" it's there. it's there.
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| "I want to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life." -Thoreau. |
[04 Jan 2005|08:56pm] |
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the cranberries-dreams |
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i don't know why little things have been getting me down lately. we don't live life for this. it's about something more; yes it's about obstacles, but not about drowning in them...it's about surmounting them and learning from them. and that's what i've done. i've learned from my mistakes, and now i know.
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| just breathe. |
[30 Dec 2004|02:02am] |
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tool-sober |
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today was pretty much the most uneventful day of the entire break. we were planning on going to the witte museum/HEB science treehouse, but i woke up this morning feeling half dead; i'd caught danielle's cold. also, my sister and i didn't have enough money to get in, we felt guilty that we sort of left danielle out of our plans, reed remembered that he had to go to houston for a show, eric diaz wanted to go but he's out of town, it would have been better to go on a day when it opened later and closed later, instead of 10 am to 5 pm because we didn't want to wake up that early, and besides, on tuesdays from 3 to 8, admission is free.
so i was stuck in bed all day, but it did give me a chance to read a lot. i finished the lesson, a comic drama written by eugene ionesco, and read a little of leonardo da vinci on the human body, the book mike gave me for christmas. it was oh so fascinating. after that i slept until around 11:30 pm, woke up, drank some green tea, and watched ever after with my sister. i wanted to watch legends of the fall, but i'm glad we decided on ever after. how i adore that movie.
since i was supposed to clean my room/do laundry today but i didn't feel like it, i have to do it tomorrow. also i want to go get some new shoes because i'm in dire need of a pair or two. alan palomo highly recommends seeing life aquatic..perhaps i shall look into that.
i really need to finish this thing i'm doing for a scholarship..i have to compile a 60-75 page portfolio of my writing, make a video tape, and write a few short essays. it's pretty tedious but it'll be worth it if i'm granted the money. i really need it, too...even though i'm not entirely looking forward to college. okay, i'd rather befriend a giant alligator than go to college, but it looks as though my opinion on the matter doesn't count in the slightest. maybe i can publish a book or two and hit it big...then college won't be necessary. goodbye, davidson. so long, berkeley.
three more days till the anticipated return of mr. eric diaz...! i haven't seen him in around a week and i don't think i can take it any longer =/. i'm also keen on seeing stephanie and ariel. i think they get back from new york on new years day, but i can't be too sure.
i hope everyone had a lovely day today, devoid of disgusting robitussin and apple-cinnamon theraflu.
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| the antikytheran mechanism |
[26 Dec 2004|11:02pm] |
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the cure-diane on her new guitar |
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of course i'm at the MacIvey residence. joe, dani, and patrick are here as well. we're kind of having fun. just kidding, they're all asleep.
i'm saaaad. i won't see mr. eric joseph diaz for a whole WEEEEEEEK! i shall surely die. or maybe he'll die because he's flying to california for the rosebowl. lame.
i've been so eager to go to the witte museum. i love the HEB science treehouse, but no one wants to go with me =[. i want to go with michael duncan.
last night i talked to reed. and even though not a lot of things were said, it meant a lot to me. i'm sure he knows i think he's the most amazing person in the world. i don't have to tell him that.
i want to watch monty python and the holy grail but diane and danielle don't want to (majority rules). if stephy was here, she'd want to watch it with me...boo hoo. i miss stephy and eviel. i hope they're having tons o' fun in vermont/new york. they deserve it.
ERIC DIAZ I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I HOPE TO JEBUS THAT YOU DON'T DIE IN A TRAGIC PLANE CRASH CAUSED BY HUMAN ERROR OR ANY KIND OF NATURAL DISASTER/ATTEMPTED TERRORIST ATTACKS. <3
pictures coming soon? maybe i'll '86 the harry potter icon thingy?
comment?
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| PEE NUT BUTT ERR GRANNAY TYME |
[12 Dec 2004|05:36pm] |
so now i have this cool journal..i guess it's just an outlet for my creativity, thanks to stephanie and mike, my bff's.
Yesterday was awesome; daniola and i awoke at the buttcrack of dawn to go to saturday school (where they made me cover up my nose piercing..dumb bitches). then danielle's mom called and accused her of sounding 'fucked up'. PSYCHO MAMA. then the diaz (who is so completely amazing) picked us up and we went to the macivey's to watch beauty and the beast. i love my friends. enjoy the pictures of my beautiful grandmas =]
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bortisboyhowdy's journal